“Be still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10
I am someone who feels emotion very deeply. I normally can’t help the intensity of what I am feeling. As a nurse I learned how to compartmentalize the deepest of emotions in order to function effectively and efficiently in my job.
When it comes to the ones I love the deepest, my husband, family and dearest friends, I don’t have this mechanism. When people I love are hurting or walking through a hard time it breaks me. I franticly scramble trying to think of anything I can possibly do to help the situation. Normally I do this by my actions. By driving to them and being with them. Taking them comfort in forms of gifts or food. Checking in on them to keep up with the struggles of those hardest moments.
I knew Japan would have its challenges but I can honestly say I underestimated. In the short two months we have been here so much has happened back home. Heartache, joy in the welcoming of new life, new challenges and jobs, excitement of adding love through adoption, sickness and confusion. All things that I long to be present in. I want to walk near the ones I love. Not being there in person for the highs and the lows has left me feeling more helpless than I could have ever anticipated.
Silence and solitude used to be something I coveted. Words that sounded so peaceful and welcoming. But when you’re truly quiet you see yourself. The good the bad and the ugly. Being left alone with your own thoughts every day is eye opening. It is extremely humbling to accept that there is truly nothing that I can do to fix things for the people I love. Bad things and good things happen. Life happens. It has been a grueling process as I have slowly let go of the control that I thought I had.
I have learned that in life I tend to let the problem that is right in front of me be the biggest thing in the world to me. I thought I could control my own peace by trying to calm storms. In contrast, my husband is a big picture person and my rock...
It’s pretty uncomfortable to feel like I need God. I need the peace that He gives me when I can’t actively love my people and stay busy. I have learned is that there is really nothing to be afraid of. I know that God is faithful and that no matter the highs and lows he has been there through the ages and seen much more.
I don’t know why we are here in this season of change. I do know that I have seen myself in a new light and understand more of who God is. At the end of the day that’s enough for me.
I will start by saying I have had wonderful prenatal care here in
Japan. My appointments have been frequent and thorough. I have an English
speaking Doctor and an interpreter that is at all of my appointments just in
case. My best friend was six weeks ahead of me with her pregnancy and my
precious sister is 7 weeks behind me. It’s been wonderful to have woman so
close that I can compare experiences with. It’s honestly been one of the most
comforting things during this process. Everything as far as prenatal care that
we compare has been nearly identical to the U.S. There are however MANY cultural
differences that I will mention. There are also many different practices during
labor and during postnatal care.
When we found out we were pregnant and moving to Japan I began my
research. There was limited information and I had to do some major digging. I
found a lot of my information on vlogs and blogs from woman who were pregnant
in Japan or gave birth in Japan. During my research I also found that maternal
and infant mortality rates are among the lowest in Japan. This makes Japan one
of the safest places in the world to have a baby. Finding out how safe Japan
was to have a baby and also an English speaking MD were two big answers to
prayer. I felt more peaceful about having a baby here than I could have ever
anticipated. OK so here is my PRE baby list of the things that are different
here in Japan.
1. It is believed that the temperature of your feet directly
effects the warmth of your baby. This is NOT something that my doctor told me.
I was convinced that this was ridiculous and I wouldn’t run into that opinion.
I was wrong. When we got here it was the end of Japan's extremely hot and humid
summer. I had a hard time getting dressed. I would strategize on wearing as
little as possible but still being covered enough for the modest culture. The last
thing I wanted to do was bend over and put socks on. So I slipped on my
Birkenstocks and out the door I went. No lie, I have had woman talk to me about
this in both public and social settings. Being the only non-Japanese person in
pretty much every setting, one becomes aware of other people. I don’t think
that this is a bad thing, it’s important to respect the people around you and
be aware of cultural behaviors. When I was doing everything I could to stand
out as little as possible it was a bit discouraging for the cashier to ask me
if my baby was cold because my feet were cold. At the end of the day this is
one thing where I choose comfort over cultural expectations.
2. There is always a place to sit everywhere you go. In Japan,
when you are pregnant, you are grouped in with the elderly, injured and
handicapped population. It sounds a little rough at first but it’s actually
awesome. People are always extremely helpful and want to make sure you’re OK.
There are designated parking spots and seating at most places. This was
honestly a little awkward for me at first. I’m stubborn and I didn’t want
people to feel like they had to move for me or go out of their way to help me.
After a while I realized it was just a way for people to show that they care.
One thing I love about the Japanese culture is how community focused behavior
is. For the most part people want to do what’s best for other people. It really
is a beautiful thing.
3. Weight gain and strict diet. OK, so this one is a little bit of
a touchy subject for pregnant woman. In the U.S. people come in all shapes and
sizes. There is such a vast variety that doctors evaluate what is right for the
individual patient. Here in Japan prenatal care is very standardized. Most
woman have the same body type and weight gain recommendations are pretty
strict. Diet is also strict and woman are given a specific list of what to eat
and what not to eat. This is THE biggest issue for foreign mothers according to
past surveys taken. I am not going to go into too much detail but I did want to
mention this. The recommended weight gain for pregnant woman in Japan is 7-8kg,
that’s 15-18lbs. This might be shocking to most people. I know it was for me.
My doctor in the U.S. recommended that I gain 30-35 pounds. Honestly my doctor
here didn’t even mention weight to me once. I think I was a bit of a different
situation because I came toward the end of my pregnancy.
4. The last thing I want to talk about is registration. I
mentioned this in a previous post. When you find out you are pregnant in Japan
you have to register with the town office. You get a TON of information, a
discount card, coupon book and many other things. The coupon book contains a
coupon for every appointment that you will need to go to. You simply hand them
the book they take a coupon and you are not charged. This was so surprising for
Sean and I after spending hundreds in U.S. prenatal appointment hospital bills.
So far I would have to say our experience being pregnant here in
Japan has been pretty great. I hope this was an interesting read and as always,
let me know if you have any questions. I do plan on giving some details about
the birth and our hospital stay after baby girl makes her appearance. I’m sure
there will be a lot about our hospital experience that is much different than
the U.S.
