The hardest decision

March 24, 2017


I haven’t wrote in a while and there is a reason for that. I’m not really sure how to start this post but I know I need to write it. I didn’t feel like it was right to post about other things when the only thing on our minds and filling our conversations was this topic. Lucy is napping so here I am with no more excuses sitting down to write and not avoiding it anymore.

There is so much that goes into big life decisions. Everyone knows the tedious process of weighing the many pros and cons. Adulting can really suck sometimes. I have been avoiding talking about this topic because it just doesn’t seem possible to sum it up in a blog post. Sean and I both agree it’s the hardest decision we have ever made. Yesterday when a friend messaged me and said “just wondering are you ever coming back?” I knew it was time. When we first decided to move to Japan I was pretty quiet about it on social media. I wanted to tell people in person and be able to answer the hard questions and explain things. It probably seemed abrupt to many people that didn’t know us intimately. Honestly, the process took a very long time. There are a lot of different stages of being placed and each thing had to line up perfectly if it was going to work. By the time we knew for sure that we were moving Lucy was already on the way and we were treasuring time with family and close friends.

Here’s the thing. What it comes down to for me is how much love I have for my family and friends in the states. I don’t want anyone to ever think that moving had anything to do with not wanting to be near our families. That’s the hard part, unless you have moved away from a family you love you can’t really wrap your mind around that. One doesn’t seem to equal the other. That’s the part that I hate the most and the reason for once in my life I’m at a loss for words. I can feel myself shying away from this conversation anytime it comes up.

As you may have guessed, we have decided to sign for one more year here in Japan.

As soon as I wrote that a million things rushed into my mind that I want to tell all of you. We decided to keep the process of this choice private. We prayed for months and talked for what felt like years going over and over reasons to go back and reasons to stay. We made list and racked our brains for all of the good and bad things about each option. We wanted to make a decision based not only on desires and emotions but practical needs. What made the decision to stay so challenging was how close our list were…

Now that we have made the decision we are focusing on all the good things Japan holds for us this year. We are very excited to be able to have the opportunity to be in Japan for one more year. I for one am loving being a stay at home mama and Sean greatly enjoys his students and coworkers. Thankfully, we have made a bunch a new friends recently. We are also looking forward to having Lucy dedicated in the church we have grown to love where everyone calls her their little doll. Life here is simple and slow. We spend time with each other just being a family of three. We eat breakfast together every morning, we read and write, take walks and go grocery shopping as a family. Things that I longed for but couldn’t often have with a busy work schedule that was opposite Sean’s in NY. We aren’t naive in knowing this is just a season but we are so so grateful for it.

To sum it up. We are where we are living day to day thanking Jesus for this life. We want to learn and grow as individuals loving the people around us wherever life takes us. We will never love our families and friends any less no matter where we lay down at night.


Ecclesiastes 3:1 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens. 

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