Why Japan
October 01, 2017
“Why did you move to Japan?”
It’s the most popular question that I have been asked during
this season of life. It’s also the most difficult to answer. With most adult
life choices there just isn’t an easy answer. I wish there was, but there
isn’t. That’s why they require age to make them, right? Somehow when you turn a
magical number you are smart enough to make these huge life decisions. Maybe
it’s because we started this journey into marriage so young (20 and 24) or
maybe it’s because I’m such an indecisive person, but I still have days that I
feel like I shouldn’t be responsible for such big choices.
Before I answer the question I need to give some background that
I’ve only shared with a few dear ones in the past. I never talked about it much
because something like moving to another country is drastic and can be
upsetting and hurtful to loved ones. I think I may have done more harm than
good in some ways because delivering the news was pretty shocking to some and I
think it did cause pain.
The truth is the “Japan” conversation has always been part
of our relationship way back since before we were even married. We talked about
wanting to travel and in my mind that meant the world on vacations. Sean was
more open to living abroad. I was never against Asia and he was never against
anywhere else but for some reason the conversation always ended up back on
Japan.
From a wife’s perspective “why Japan?” is really not
something that I can explain. Because it’s something that is just a part of
Sean. I married a man who has thick dirty blonde hair, an amazing smile and
James for a middle name. He loves organization, watching football and is the
most incredible writer I have ever met. He has a weakness for pastries, needs
alone time to recharge, desires to serve the Lord, is extremely loyal and has a
heart for Japan. It’s who he is. It’s not a choice he made, it’s a part of him.
I would like to say it was easy to trust him and follow him.
That I knew that everything would work out and I gladly stood by him. But
that’s not who I am. I prayed for God to change his heart. For years I thought
that there was a way around it. Then I realized I was making a huge error. I
was missing a big opportunity to be the kind of wife I want to be. The person
that only I could be for Sean. His number one fan. The person that jumps in the
boat and grabs an oar. To be the kind of spouse that I want to be married to.
So I said yes.
And you know what happened? Everything fell into place
chillingly perfect. The time leading up to the move, the move, the birth of our
baby girl, getting a car, setting up the house, finding a church and making
friends. The piece that’s hard and should be hard is being away from the people
that I love. If that didn’t break my heart and wreck me at times that means I
wasn’t loving them like I should have been when we lived close.
Normally, we show all of the fun things we are doing and
adventures we are experiencing. And all of that is absolutely wonderful. Our
marriage has grown in so many ways and honestly I feel closer to Sean and have
more fun with him than ever before. But it’s not all rainbows and butterflies
and some days are really hard. What I cling to in those times is valuing the
season that I am in.
A wise woman said to me (my mother) “Choosing your spouse
throughout life only ever leads to good things”. So when people ask me “why did
you move to Japan?” these days I normally just laugh and ask how much time they
have.
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