Sushi Mama: 2017

Honest thoughts

October 23, 2017

This year I became a Mom. I never thought in a million years that the process would look like it has. When it was finalized that we would be moving to Japan it felt a bit like I was seeing my life as an onlooker. Like I drifted away from my body and watched myself pack boxes. Things I dreamt of surrounding the growth and birth of Lucy couldn’t and didn’t happen the way I imagined. I honestly think I was in a little bit of shock. Everything happened like a whirl wind around me. I quickly and quietly traded in all of my expectations like an exchange for bowling shoes. There was a new plan, a new life. I slipped on my new roles and got a crash course on true friendship those days. Some people disappeared completely from our lives and others showed up with eager helping hearts.

There were so many little things that I didn’t even know I was emotionally attached to. I will never forget the phone call with my husband telling me what we thought to be a two room apartment was actually one and there would be no nursery to decorate. You could have told me my long loved childhood dog just died tragically. I sobbed on the spot, like ugly cry, couldn’t breathe. In that moment the reality set in. I sat there and felt the weight of it, that I was getting on a plane 8 months pregnant flying across the world away from my family. I let myself feel it, and I was absolutely terrified.

The feeling of letting go and being open to whatever happens in life was what terrified me. Living in that state of mind is not comfortable or easy. But I can tell you that it is freeing. This year has taught me that peace is not in detailed planning. I have learned that there is so much freedom in accepting that I am not in control. I have to constantly remind myself that life is unpredictable. I set myself up for such failure when I construct detailed plans for our future in my head. I allow so much fear and worry to creep in, holding those dreams up, trying to stabilize them. I let the fear of something happening to the people I love cripple me instead of building a foundation on hope and trust. A foundation on the things that matter most in this life. There is such beauty in living in the precious little moments of the everyday. Of appreciating where you are.

Peace is found when your foundation of who you are does not need the material things of this world. Freedom and beauty are found in contentment. And chances are when you let go of your expectations, you will find that the life you are living is better then you could have ever imagined.

Why Japan

October 01, 2017

“Why did you move to Japan?”

It’s the most popular question that I have been asked during this season of life. It’s also the most difficult to answer. With most adult life choices there just isn’t an easy answer. I wish there was, but there isn’t. That’s why they require age to make them, right? Somehow when you turn a magical number you are smart enough to make these huge life decisions. Maybe it’s because we started this journey into marriage so young (20 and 24) or maybe it’s because I’m such an indecisive person, but I still have days that I feel like I shouldn’t be responsible for such big choices.

Before I answer the question I need to give some background that I’ve only shared with a few dear ones in the past. I never talked about it much because something like moving to another country is drastic and can be upsetting and hurtful to loved ones. I think I may have done more harm than good in some ways because delivering the news was pretty shocking to some and I think it did cause pain.

The truth is the “Japan” conversation has always been part of our relationship way back since before we were even married. We talked about wanting to travel and in my mind that meant the world on vacations. Sean was more open to living abroad. I was never against Asia and he was never against anywhere else but for some reason the conversation always ended up back on Japan.

From a wife’s perspective “why Japan?” is really not something that I can explain. Because it’s something that is just a part of Sean. I married a man who has thick dirty blonde hair, an amazing smile and James for a middle name. He loves organization, watching football and is the most incredible writer I have ever met. He has a weakness for pastries, needs alone time to recharge, desires to serve the Lord, is extremely loyal and has a heart for Japan. It’s who he is. It’s not a choice he made, it’s a part of him.

I would like to say it was easy to trust him and follow him. That I knew that everything would work out and I gladly stood by him. But that’s not who I am. I prayed for God to change his heart. For years I thought that there was a way around it. Then I realized I was making a huge error. I was missing a big opportunity to be the kind of wife I want to be. The person that only I could be for Sean. His number one fan. The person that jumps in the boat and grabs an oar. To be the kind of spouse that I want to be married to. So I said yes.

And you know what happened? Everything fell into place chillingly perfect. The time leading up to the move, the move, the birth of our baby girl, getting a car, setting up the house, finding a church and making friends. The piece that’s hard and should be hard is being away from the people that I love. If that didn’t break my heart and wreck me at times that means I wasn’t loving them like I should have been when we lived close.

Normally, we show all of the fun things we are doing and adventures we are experiencing. And all of that is absolutely wonderful. Our marriage has grown in so many ways and honestly I feel closer to Sean and have more fun with him than ever before. But it’s not all rainbows and butterflies and some days are really hard. What I cling to in those times is valuing the season that I am in.

A wise woman said to me (my mother) “Choosing your spouse throughout life only ever leads to good things”. So when people ask me “why did you move to Japan?” these days I normally just laugh and ask how much time they have.

Camping in Japan with a baby

September 24, 2017

This weekend we went on a family camping trip. We were invited by our friends to go with them. When we started the journey of living in Japan we both agreed that we would do our best to accept every opportunity possible. Despite Sean being partial to indoor sleeping arrangements, he jumped at the invitation to camp for his first time!

I personally have camped before but mostly when I was a teenager and I didn’t worry much about anything other then what I was going to wear. This was an entirely new experience for me however, because I had to think through how camping looks with a 10 month old.

Lucy was an absolute champ. I was most worried about how she would sleep and I think she slept better then Sean and I combined. She didn’t seem to mind the change in sleeping arrangements one bit. I am pretty proud of her and how she so easily adapts to all the situations that she is in. Her biggest frustration these days is her desire to always be down walking around and exploring. Our biggest challenged in letting her explore without injuring herself or ingesting rocks and living creepy crawlers.

Overall camping in Japan wasn’t all that different then back in the states. We all packed up our cars and caravanned to our destination. Everyone pitched their tents and we started a fire. The kids ran around and we grilled food and ate to our hearts content. When it got dark we did fireworks and made treats on the fire. We stayed up late, laughed and listened to music. In the morning we had pancakes, breakfast sandwiches and hot coffee. It was peaceful and perfect.

On our ride home Sean and I were overwhelmed with gratitude for the friends we have made here. There is a special group of people who have welcomed us into their intimate little clan and we are so very thankful. I honestly don’t know what we would do without them. This weekend is going down in the books as a Kelley Camping trip success.

Seasons of life

September 13, 2017

I’m not going to lie, I am pretty jealous of the full-fledge fall weather going on back in our home town right now. While our family and friends in N.Y. are posting about pumpkin spice and pulling out their cozy fall sweaters we are over here still setting our air conditioner and eating all the ice cream. Japan is still pretty hot in September but I think it’s safe to say we are finally starting to have cooler nights and days aren’t as overpowering.

This summer absolutely flew by! Lucy and I spent a full month in America and Sean joined us for two of those weeks. I have a thing for “firsts” and being home watching Lucy try so many new things was very special. It made my heart happy to see friends and family love on her.

When we got back we dove right into the end of summer Obon festivities. My favorite time of year here is the end of summer! I love all the fireworks, amazing food and entertainment. Japan sure knows how to throw a party. The best way I can explain town festivals is to ask you to think of a huge Fourth of July party. Now imagine your entire town showing up to celebrate and party together. It’s a ton of fun and really cool to feel such a strong sense of community as everyone comes together. There are also firework displays and drum performances in different public parks around the city. Schools hold annual sports days where you can watch students perform and compete. As the summer season is coming to an end days are shorter. I am starting to focus on preparing for my sister, brother and nephews visit in October! As well as crafting for Lucy’s one year birthday (are you kidding me).

It’s bitter sweet to love two different places. I have the most conflicting feelings when we travel back and forth. It physically hurts and if I think about it for more than about two minutes I’m a blubbering mess. I am not trying to sound dramatic, it's just a lot for my heart. I’m constantly reminding myself that life is full of seasons. Each one is meant to be enjoyed in it's own time. If we get caught up in what’s to come we can easily miss the joys of the one we are in. Soon we will be planning for our trip back stateside. It’s already going extremely fast and I find myself just wanting to be in the moment. Begging myself not to miss the small things. Lucy is growing like wild fire and her tight clothes and baby babble forming words these days is constant reminder that life is truly fleeting.

P.S. I will pay good money to have someone send me pumpkin anything and food scented candles…

No shoes no problem

August 24, 2017

I try my best to be culturally sensitive when we go out in public. Its not always easy, and a cup of coffee at home wins out over outings some of the time. When we go out of the house there are some things I do or don’t do just because I am aware they may be offensive or odd to the people around me. I think I would be pretty ignorant to completely ignore those things but I also try not to overthink it. I pick and choose what to do depending on how comfortable I am with the situation. I'm going to list a few examples below.

This isn’t really a social difference but it is something that effects us every time we go out. We understand that Lucy is just a normal baby... in America. Here in Japan, Lucy is a superstar, or at least you would think so. Every time we go out people stare at her. People comment on her skin being so white, her big blue eyes and her lack of hair. For the most part people are pretty sweet and mean well. Normally, people say she looks like a doll and want to touch her or take pictures with her. Sometimes it’s a blast and hilarious when you catch someone seeing her for the first time. Just this past week a woman walked into the banana box at the grocery store because she was distracted by her. Honestly, some days I just want to be left alone and do everyday things like a normal person.

Babies don’t usually wear shoes in Japan. I am not kidding! They do not have baby shoes at our local baby store. I honestly have never seen a child that doesn’t walk with shoes on. This also applies in the winter months. I have looked up why and also asked friends about the reasoning behind it. There are a few different opinions. The practical reason is that there really isn’t a need for shoes. I cannot tell you how many people asked me if she could walk when they seen her with shoes on as a newborn. There is also a belief that our feet control our body temperature and need to be exposed to do so. Therefore, they should not be covered or your not allowing the infant to warm or cool themselves.

This one was hard for me at first and still is. I was honestly shocked when people offered or asked to hold Lucy. Generally, this happens when I don’t have extra hands. This has happened at the bank, post office, grocery checkout line and restaurants. Normally it was when I had to pay and my hands were full with Lucy. If you remember form my last blog I explained that most people don’t use strollers and there are no infant carrier car seats to carry around. Because of this there are many situations where you simply don't have your hands free. Also, the people that offer to hold her are employed by the business I was in at the time. This is pretty weird for me and way out of my comfort zone. But it can be very helpful at times.

I want to end this blog by saying that this is all my personal opinion and what I have lived and observed. It doesn’t matter where you are or what culture you are in, there are going to be different opinions on how things should be done. However, many Japanese like order and following guidelines. This plays a big role in child rearing and the expectations that people have of new moms and dads.

Wedding date night!

August 14, 2017

This past Friday we went to our first Japanese wedding. I was giddy the day Sean came home and told me we were going to be getting and invitation. Then, I felt a sense of panic thinking about leaving Lucy for that long. After we asked a good friend to watch Lucy I was able to relax and look forward to a much needed date night with the hubs. I love weddings and I think they make for one of the best dates! There is something so special about witnessing the joining of two lives. The commitment being displayed and vowed for a lifetime is felt by everyone in the room.

As always I did some reading to try to prep for what to expect, how to dress, what amount of money to give, excreta. I’m thankful I did my research because it went very smoothly and we had a great time. Believe it or not I do not like being put in new uncertain situations. Honestly, I was shocked at how “western” the wedding was. There were many similarities and I didn’t feel like it was overall too different from something you could find in the America. I say this taking into consideration that American weddings are all so very different these days. People pick and choose the traditions that they want to incorporate into their special day. Pretty much anything goes as long as it is what the couple wants. I think because of this mind set I wasn’t too thrown off by attending a Japanese wedding. There were however some strange and just different things that I am going to try to explain for you.

Dress code: This sounds silly but believe me, it’s not. When everyone in a room is dressed the same way you care about dress code. I read in a few places on line that it was important for woman to cover their shoulders. This isn’t surprising because of how modest the Japanese culture is in general. I also read that most woman wear a shawl over a dark colored dress. This is often accompanied by a small amount of delicate jewelry, preferably pearls. Shoes should be a neutral color small kitten heal or flats. This information was spot on and I was so thankful that I followed suit. Its sounds specific and a bit overkill but this was exactly what every woman in the room wore other than the woman dressed in kimono. Men wore black suits with a white or blue undershirt and plain tie.

No dancing: Again, some American weddings may not have dancing but I wouldn’t say that’s the norm. In Japan there is no dancing or room made for a dance floor. There is an announcer that runs the program and talks everyone through what is happening and what will come next.

Weddings games: People were very excited to participate in game-show style games throughout the reception. The announcer cued the curtains to close and lights to dim as a big screen lowered at the end of the room. Everyone cheered and clapped in response participating enthusiastically to the different games that were played.

Clothing changes: The bride and groom changed three times. All changes were full head to toe. The first style was western, a traditional white dress and black tux. The second was what you would imagine when you think of an elaborate senior prom. A blue floral dress with the groom in a matching blue suit. The third change was my favorite, a traditional Japanese look. Each change was announced and music was played as the couple was escorted out of the room by different family members.

Gifts: When attending a wedding its custom for a guest to give at least 300,00 yen (~300 US$). The money is put into a fancy money envelope and given the greater when you walk in to the venue. Each guest attending the event received a huge goodie-bag full of gifts. One of the gifts was a catalog that allowed us to select a gift and send for it to be shipped to our house.

Pouring drinks: This is a cool tradition that is hard to remember at times. You’re not supposed to pour your own drink. People would even come over to our table to say hi and pour drinks for us. It’s a cool way to serve each other and make sure everyone is cared for a having a good time. The groom’s buddies made a game of it and all ran to fill his drink every time he took a sip.

Lucy did great with our friend Kayo and loved playing with her boys. It was helpful to get picture updates while we were away. I think I have some separation anxiety for sure. I'm thankful for a husband who gently reminds me its OK to take time away from her. What an awesome experience! We had a great time!

Us with the bride and groom when they took pictures with our table

Mama in Japan

June 23, 2017

What’s different about being a mom in Japan? I don’t really know where to start. My mind races through topics when I get asked this question. Lucy is seven and a half months and I think it’s time to try to take this topic on. There is so much that I want to explain. Just this morning I was grocery shopping and forgot my baby carrier. I smiled to myself as I put Lucy in the shopping basket in my small Japanese size shopping cart. Everything is truly different then I imagined it, in every way. This blog will be about some of the practical differences I have experienced.

Although this is my first experience as a mom, the world of all things baby isn’t completely new to me. I started babysitting when I was 11 after that I worked at my Aunt’s day care followed by working at a summer camp and then finally being a pediatric ICU nurse. I thought I had a good idea of what to expect entering motherhood. Little did I know that I would become a mom in another country. I have to laugh when I think of how humble it’s made me to realize I may be seen as doing everything wrong here.

Baby showers: I feel like I should talk about this topic before explaining some other things. Most people in Japan wait to celebrate the baby until after they arrive because of superstitious reasons. It may be seen as tempting fate to gift something to a child not yet born. And then after the baby is born its normal to wait a month or two before visiting the family. When people do visit new baby its customary to give a gift of money. When we first had Lucy everyone would comment on her clothes and how many she had. I was taken back by this a little bit because to me she had a normal amount. It wasn’t until I started to ask questions and do some reading that I realized clothing wasn’t gifted to new parents and most newborn babies generally wear hand me downs because they grow so fast.

Car seats and strollers: All I have to say about this is think small. There is no room for strollers and infant car seats in a world where space is so limited. We live on an Island. Cars are very small, many without any trunk at all. Restaurants have limited space, sometimes only seating a couple people at a time. Shopping malls and grocery stores also have narrow isle ways and checkout lanes. There is simply no room. Infants and sometimes large children are carried pretty much everywhere. The first time I seen a small woman with a child about the same size strapped to her I couldn't help but laugh. I was in complete awe as I watched her. Needless to say, infant seats aren’t sold in stores and strollers are pretty small.

Baby supplies: Baby stores are limited in our area. There is one in our city with supplies such as high chairs and strollers. Then there are a couple baby specialty shops. When it comes to selection, the baby supply store has one or two options of each thing. For example, the largest baby store I shop in has just three different brand options of wipes and diapers. The grocery store has a few baby items with only one brand of baby food with a couple different flavors for each age. I should also mention that there are big department stores that have gorgeous clothes but outrageous prices. Other than that you might find a baby section with some things in pharmacies.

Clothing: Baby clothing is sold in cm sizes. All that means is measurements are by the length of the child not the age. I actually like this idea and it wasn’t that hard to figure out once I realized what the tag numbers stood for. Another little challenge was that clothing is all sold as one piece under six months of age. Before I realized that I searched for clothing and thought I was only finding pajamas. Since then I have kind of given up on buying clothes here in Japan and buy most things on clearance when we are back in America.

I hope you enjoyed reading about how things are here in Japan with a little babe. Stay tuned for the social differences I have experiences being a mom here in Japan. As always, please comment and let me know what you think and if you have any questions! Thank you for reading and following along with us on this journey.

Driving in Japan

June 20, 2017

When we first moved here we quickly realized that we needed a car. Although we live one minute away from a train station, the train only comes a few times throughout the day. Not only is the train infrequent but once we would take the train there was usually more transportation needed. We would often have to take a bus or a taxi after the train to reach our final destination. In our past visits to Japan we were in more populated areas and didn’t need a car at all to get around. It didn’t take long for us to realize the difficultly of life without a car in the countryside of Japan. I remember walking a mile, both ways, to the grocery store and back, eight months pregnant with sweat pouring off of me (do not feel bad for me, I needed the exercise). Not only did we need groceries but we also wanted to explore and be able to do things like go to dinner or the beach on our weekends off. Also, there were all of my prenatal appointments and needing a safe way to get to the hospital in case of an emergency. Needless to say, taking the leap and leasing a car during our time here was one of our best decisions.

Getting the car was not easy. There was a ton of paper work that needed to be filed. I honestly know very little about this because Sean is awesome and does all of the important stuff like that. After getting the process started we initially waited about a month for our car. When things are difficult and take a lot of time I am never really sure exactly why. The instant gratification American in me throws a little fit and stomps her feet like a two year old. I wonder if it’s because we are foreigners or many because not many people rent vehicles in this area. Or it’s possibly just because of the language barrier (my guess is all of the above). We have learned that being patient is the best way to deal with these kinds of things.

Let me tell you, having a car gave me such freedom! I was able to drive all over hunting through thrift stores and baby stores getting the apartment set up. I was definitely nesting and went a little crazy feeling like I was running out of time. Little did I know that I would have two extra weeks to wait for her…

Car pick up day!

That brings me to the topic of this blog. An International Driver’s License can be obtained in the U.S. from a few different places. We got ours from AAA. It was a simple form with a picture and a small fee (I think it was $35.00). Honestly it was one of the easier steps in the process of driving in Japan. Having that was awesome and worked great for our first year. However, once we decided to stay a second year we were faced with the Japanese Drivers Test DUN DUN DUN! On average, foreigners take the test seven times! We were both terrified and not looking forward to it at all.

Before you can even take the test you need to set up an interview. The process was a little challenging. The interview cannot be completed on the same day as the test. The center is about an hour and twenty minutes away. Also, Sean and I could not do the interview on the same day. The actually interview was just a bunch of questions that felt kind of random. Asking things like if I got an eye exam before my test in NY, who dropped me off at the test, what my first vehicle was, the color and so on. After we finished the interview we went home and waited to hear if we “passed” and could schedule the test.

There are three parts to the actual exam. An eye test, a paper test and a road test. You also watch a short video during the process. The eye test was nothing really. There was a large 'C' and you had to tell the examiner what way the opening was facing as he moved it around. We got a good laugh trying to communicate during the eye test. I ended up using my hand and telling him the direction of the 'C' by changing the direction of my hand.

The written test was very easy, like extremely simple. That’s coming from someone with major test anxiety. If you have driven in the United States you would pass the test no problem. It is a randomized 10 question true or false exam asking things about basic road rules. For example, “What you do when you see an ambulance coming from behind?” Or “When people are walking in front of you should you stop?”

Then comes the road test. This is NOT easy and is the reason why you may have to take the exam so many times. The test is conducted on a driving course. The reason why it is so extremely hard to pass is not for reasons you would assume. You can easy fail this test even if you are a good driver. Every single little thing that you miss will require the instructor to deduct points. For example, if you look both ways before making a turn but fail to do so BEFORE coming to a complete stop you will have points taken away. That is the reason why I failed the first time. I needed to check for traffic both ways before the stop sign/ red light. Another example happened to Sean. He lost points on his test for turning his blinker on too late before making the turn.

It’s pretty stressful because the instructor just sits quietly and gives commands. The only movements he makes is to write things down on his clip board in red pen throughout the exam. Oh and the instructor is a police officer and may or may not know English. Thankfully my instructor did know some English and I was able to understand his directions. Over all it was quite the experience. I am thankful that we had friends to go with us that helped with paper work and communication throughout the process. The testing center is about an hour and twenty minutes away. It’s a huge relief to have the testing process behind us. I can now say I am a proud owner of a Japanese driver’s license!

Thankful that these two woman held Lucy during the times I needed to be interviewed and tested! Also thank you for a celebratory lunch after my pass!

She is holding my licence!

I don't like breastfeeding

May 25, 2017

After recording this it was brought to my attention that I forgot to mention the mamas that do LOVE breastfeeding. I know many woman personally that have a deep connection with their child due to breastfeeding. I am envious of you, I wish I could say the same. This video is MY own experience with breastfeeding. For me I do think I have more of a connection with my daughter because of it. Maybe my opinion will change if I am unable to breastfeed a future child. I can't know that. Also I am well aware of the nutritional value breastfeeding has, that is not what this video is about. At the end of the day we all are doing the best we can with what we have. Whats most important is our babies are loved and cared for. Love you mamas! Stay strong, love your babies and support one another <3

Cultural Differences: America/ Japan

May 24, 2017

Golden Week Recharge

May 07, 2017

Here we are. We hit the six months mark yesterday with our little stink. Half a year! Are you kidding me?! Isn't the speed of life terrifying? It is for me. It feels like a dream at times. Like I'm on the outside looking in. I would have never believed you if you told me that this past year would play out like it has. That I would become a mama to the happiest little lemon drop. That I would be able to stay at home with her and that would all happen in Japan. We have been living here now for 9 months. I have to pinch myself when I say that.

I still cannot believe we did it. That we are doing it. I am so proud of this season. We have been stretched and challenged in so many new ways. Honestly, old habits have tried to creep back in and we have had to fight to stay focused on the things that are most important. I'm old enough now to know life has it's stages. When I think of life knowing there are seasons it makes it easier to treasure the highs and push through the lows. Some days are really tough. Like, REALLY tough. Then other days are so precious and just wonderful. Life is such a roller coaster of emotion isn’t it?

This past week was great. It was Golden Week here in Japan! That means is there are four major holidays all in one week. Showa Day is the birthday of a former Emperor. Constitution Day, Greenery Day and Children’s Day are the others. The only one of these holidays I knew a tiny bit about was Children's Day, only because I associated the colorful flying carp with Japanese culture. This is actually done traditionally for children day. Each colorful fish represents a different family member. The fish are a symbol of strength, perseverance and success.

Because everyone has off of work many people travel during this time or have family come and visit them. That means everywhere you go is super crowded. We took it day-by-day, relaxing a ton but also doing some fun stuff. The highlights for me were gorgeous flowers, great food and sweet times with friends. Also, we celebrated six months with our baby girl on the outside!

This flower park that is about ten minuets by car from our house! I absolutely love it there!

Her face when she seen the waterfall

First grass experience and she loved it! Wanted to lay in it!

She makes me heart full <3

Children's Day dinner party with friends!

The group!

I learned how to make dumplings with these babes :)

Bye Bye Golden Week!

Pediatrician Visits in Japan

April 17, 2017

March flew by and I cannot even believe we are half way through April already. Vacation was a whirlwind. Packing, traveling and unpacking was quite the time consuming challenge. Life has finally started to slow down and I feel us getting back into the normal rhythm of things again. Everyone knows that feeling of coming back to reality, its bittersweet. I still have a few loads of laundry to catch up on but I’m blaming our lack of a dryer for that.

Since Lucy was three months we have been going to our pediatrician regularly. We have a booklet of what to expect at each visit and it’s been pretty accurate each time. That doesn’t make the appointments any easier. In fact, I dread them. I’m going to let you in on a little bit of who I am. Believe it or not, I don’t like to deviate from the plan. That might sound strange coming from a mama who gave birth in Japan. But if you know me you know I like to plan. I like to think about what’s going to happen and process it in my head. I think about how I’m going to feel or what I’m going to say. I think about how things might look or play out when they happen. I think too much. This works out well when I am at the store looking for things to decorate my house with or in the grocery store looking for ingredients to make meals. However, when it comes to healthcare in another country, this is an difficult path to walk.

I know a decent amount about pediatrics and I thought out what it would be like to take Lucy to her appointments, the questions I would like to ask, the stats that we would receive each appointment, written down on a cute little card. I wanted the reassurance that I was doing a good job and feeding her well. I thought about snapping a picture of her up on that big exam table in her diaper waiting for our doctor. Well you probably know where I’m going with this, pediatric appointments are very different here in Japan. Right from our first appointment my expectations were tossed out the window. I don’t want to give the false impression that Lucy isn’t getting awesome care because she is. It’s just not done the way I imagined it would be and that’s hard for me.

Japan has universal healthcare. Everyone is required to have insurance but the government pays around 70% of the cost before patient is responsible. This may not sound that great to my American friends, as the costs there are really high. But here, the healthcare costs are usually very low. This leaves the patient with a very inexpensive bill or no cost at all. Sounds great right? It really has been! Throughout my pregnancy, birth and now Lucy’s visits we have paid a very small out of pocket expense. I should also probably mention that Japanese people have the longest life expectancy in the entire world. I’m sure that has something to do with the quality of their health care.

Universal healthcare also means lines. There is one appointment time for a group of babies that are all around the same age. From there its first come first serve. We generally get there early and are one of the first ones in to try to avoid a crazy wait time. You can understand then why it’s a game of speed. People undress their babies and have them ready to get shots or whatever they need done. Your name is then called and you go back. The doctor asks us if anything is wrong, listens to Lucy front and back, gives her shots and we are back in the waiting room. We wait 20 minutes and are on our way. At one month and four months Lucy had what I think of as a more traditional appointment. She was weighed and measured and we were given her stats as far as growth. Sean always goes with us and fills out the forms and answers questions. I need him on these days. It’s always an emotional day for me and I feel lost and anxious.

Lucy is growing and I feel like she has a new trick every day. It’s exciting to watch her try new things. We just started introducing food and she is super into it for 3-5 bites then purses her lips together and grins at us. She has figured out how to do an inchworm like action and scoot herself across the room for a toy. She sobs when she is overtired and completely loses her mind if you don’t let her sleep. She still loves mornings, baths and gives the best smiles. I adore her.

It’s absolutely overwhelming to think we could screw up our kids by doing what is recommended. Or that if we deviate we could be putting them at even higher of a risk. I have learned that sometimes it doesn’t look like what we expect it to. Sometimes nothing goes as planned. But that’s being a parent right? I never expected to love Lucy as much as I do. I never planned to laugh so hard at her funny faces. I never imagined I would freely sacrifice myself for her like I do. It’s messy but it’s absolutely the best.

What were we thinking?

April 10, 2017

Travel with children is a hot topic these days. In a world of schedules, safe sleep, vaccinations and allergies the thought of leaving home is sometimes daunting let alone packing what you need for two weeks in a carry-on sized bag. This blog will give some insight into our trip and the reality of travel with a baby in tow. I’m not going to sugar coat things but I will say that after everything it was still worth it and we had a great time.

Largest fish market in the world

Kiyomizu-dera Temple

Organization is key.

Read and plan and plan some more. Organize each of your bags to be as functional as possible. Lucy’s diaper bag had exactly what I needed in it and nothing more. Believe me when I say a small bathroom with no changing table is not the place you want to be over packed. You will be put in challenging situations and knowing what you have and where it is relives a lot of stress. Have a plan for your bags. Our suitcases are split in half. What I mean by that is when you open them one side has a strap holding things in and the other is zipped shut. This came in handy when our clothes got dirty. We were able to separate what we could wear again and things that needed to be washed. Take a bunch of different size baggies, they are super useful for diapers, dirty clothes or really anything you

don’t have a zipper or place for on the spot.

On the airplane waiting for the bathroom

First time front facing

Clothes take up the most space.

The amount of clothing you need is hard to plan. It depends on how many changes of clothes your child goes through a day, if you will have a washer and or dryer and what the weather will be like. Weather is a huge factor and unfortunately an always changing one. Check the forecast right up until you leave and pack layers for your babe if it looks chilly. We packed a lot of bibs for Lu trying to avoid needing to change her when she spit up. Think of things you don’t have to pack. For example, you can probably get wipes and diapers at your destination. And limit yourself on the things that you can, one pair of shoes, a hoodie or coat and hat that match everything so you are not taking up a ton of room with extras. Looking back on our travel trips, I have never regretted taking too small of an amount. Take your favorites. Pack as light as possible. Don’t waste space on the things you wouldn’t dress your babe in more than once.

Our luggage other than Sean's backpack he had on

The art of distraction.

Lucy is still small so I didn’t have to think of as many strategies that I might need later on. I would recommend packing new toys. I packed a new toy for her and she was defiantly more entertained by it for longer periods. If we were in a pickle and Lucy was upset distraction was pretty helpful. Let them interact with someone around you or hand them something new but ordinary like your bag strap. Those things helped to distract her long enough to find a spot to feed or change her.

Looking out over Tokyo with Daddy

A character from film that we love that has a little girl named Mei in it (Lucy's middle name)

She started screaming when I did this. True story

Use a carrier if possible.

This is self-explanatory. Lucy LOVES her carrier/sling. I think part of the reason why is because I have had her in them since she was a week old. If you’re getting ready for a trip where your little one will be carried make sure your carrying them for a few hours a day leading up to the trip. It will be a much more pleasant experience for everyone involved :)

Cherry blossoms were gorgeous

Family photo with everyone smiling is a win all around

Pack a piece of home.

Even if your babe doesn’t have a something special they like to sleep with it is still a good idea to bring a blanket or snuggle buddy that smells like home. DO NOT wash their “lovie” before you go or while you are gone. I learned this the hard way. Lucy loves to snuggle with her giraffe and a Muslin blanket while she is falling asleep (don’t you worry, I removed them once she is asleep.) After our first week I tossed her blanket in the washer without thinking. That night it took me a bit to realize that she wasn’t holding onto her blanket. I switched it out for the other one I took and she snuggled right up. Of course she didn’t want the blanket that smelled like some random detergent we picked up.

Lucy's new toy

Know your baby.

This is challenging because babies are always changing. BUT think about what your child likes and doesn’t like and try to keep them happy. Vacation is not the time to introduce a new sippy cup or work on something new. This is NOT how we plan to parent Lucy but on vacation we play by different rules. Just like I play by different rules. I don’t limit myself on things like what I want to eat or when I should go to bed. I’m not saying that you should let your babes go crazy but a little leeway after some long travel is what we all want and need on a vacation. This will look different as Lucy grows but right now that looks like nursing her when she wanted and not pushing her to stay up late (she hates being over- tired and completely loses her mind.)

Eating what I want ...

When I want ;)

Think it through.

Where are your seats on the plane? Can you get a baby bassinet? If you are taking public transportation can you make your tickets during a nap time? ALWAYS feed and change before you sit down to eat! And remember that you are traveling with a baby/child. Give yourself and them some grace when it comes to noise. Call ahead to your hotels and let them know you are bringing a baby. This gives them a heads up and the chance to secure a baby bed for you.

Japan is very accommodating.

So as I was making tips to share with you guys I kept coming back to this problem. Japan has incredible accommodations for mamas. Most shopping malls and public places have nursing rooms. There is definitely a range, some are super nice with a recording of birds chirping, comfy chairs, bottle warmers and sweetly painted walls while others are a single chair in a small room that you can hardly turn around in. Either way, there are nursing rooms. I was always on a look out for these wherever we went. These rooms were a HUGE life saver to me. I like to be a pretty private person while breastfeeding. I wasn’t always able to find these rooms. When you commit to a vacation like we went on your committing to breastfeeding on park benches, trains and coffee shops. Thankfully there are incredible nursing covers these days and I have one from Milk Snob that’s amazing!

Those are changing tables! This one was amazing.

Yes please

Baby room!

The biggest question I get asked after trips is, “Would we do it again now that it’s over?” Sean and I honestly asked ourselves this and both said yes, but agreed that it is a bit more challenging with a child. We love travel and won’t ever stop. There is something so special and humbling about seeing other parts of the world. To stand in front of a building that is older than the country you were born in or ride a bullet train that runs at 168mph. Travel is what takes us to the arms of family and friends. It takes us to the doorsteps of our childhood homes where so many memories were made. Travel is a gateway to new adventure doing ordinary things. Eating, bathing, sleeping and shopping, simple things are different and surprising. Travel is a beautiful gift that our generation has been given.